Debi Silber The Shift Network Beyond Betrayal 2022, The fundamental skills you’ll need to move beyond betrayal and into a newly strengthened, more confident self.
Being betrayed by someone you love and trust, or even just someone you thought had your back, can feel like the end.
You no longer know what’s real and true — who’s real and true. It’s one thing to no longer trust the betrayer. It’s altogether another to no longer trust yourself.
Where does that leave you? Well, reeling, heartsick, or stuck.
Physically, you may be dragging, not sleeping (or sleeping too much), gaining or losing weight, and/or struggling with gut issues. Your mental health may be a knot of anxiety, depression, brain fog, and more, betrayal being its own unique form of trauma. Emotionally? It’s all so hard, the shock and disbelief, the overwhelm and hurt, the anger.
You don’t want these conditions and states to stretch into months, years, or even decades. Which means feeling and dealing with them now.
After experiencing back-to-back betrayals — one by a family member, the other by her husband — holistic psychologist Dr. Debi Silber heard within her personal devastation her professional calling.
Focusing her studies on what happens to you when you’re betrayed, Dr. Debi earned her doctorate in transpersonal psychology and went on to found the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute.
A straight talker who holds deep empathy for those who’ve been betrayed, Dr. Debi tells it — post-betrayal transformation — like it is in TEDx talks; in magazines such as Self, Shape, and Forbes; on CBS television; and online at WebMD.
In her own life, research, and work with clients, Dr. Debi sees it time and again: Betrayal can be the beginning of necessary, thrilling change…
… and the end of beliefs and dynamics that no longer serve your emergence as an open and trusting person who deserves safe, quality bonds.
It can actually be a gateway into your full potential.
Dr. Debi has researched and developed five predictable stages of feeling and healing Post Betrayal Syndrome: Set-Up, Breakdown, Survival, Acceptance, and Rebirth.
In this 7-week live video course, Dr. Debi will meet you at whichever stage you’re at and introduce you to the right next step leading to a new version of yourself, one who couldn’t have come into being without the betrayal.
This course is far less about the other person and what they did to you than it is about you — you embracing this potent opportunity to create a new identity and release identification as a victim. This inner makeover can lead naturally to refreshingly different external dynamics and relationships.
In addition to having 7 weeks of powerful insights that lay the groundwork for your healing with Dr. Debi, this course will feature a supportive mix of experiential activities, demonstrations, journaling, and guided visualizations anchored in relatable analogies to help them stick.
Healing from betrayal is work. Dr. Debi half-jokes that she should have T-shirts printed that read Easy Now, Hard Later. Hard Now, Easy Later. You don’t want to skip over the hurt of betrayal, only to have it linger in your system and manifest later as physical or psychological issues. You want to turn it over to a time-tested, well-researched psychological process.
“Everything I teach always has a hopeful, transformational spin,” says Dr. Debi, alluding to her work as a means of accessing soul-level learning. “If I’m talking about anything heavy, it’s because you have just as much of an opportunity to heal from it.”
Beyond Betrayal: 5 Stages of Healing to Help You Trust & Love Again is seven weeks and five stages to a stronger, more confident you — a you who’s solid in how you live and who you trust.
In this 7-week transformational intensive, Dr. Debi will guide you through the fundamental skills you’ll need to move beyond betrayal and into a newly strengthened, more confident self.
You’ll connect with Dr. Debi and experience her teachings through livestreaming video via any connected device. This connection is easy to use and will enhance the impact of Dr. Debi’s transmissions. Or you can listen to just the audio by phone.
(Can’t make it live? No worries! After each class, the video and audio recordings will be available for you to download or stream in a high-quality format at your convenience.)
This course will feature LIVE teachings, interactive training sessions, experiential practices, and Q&A with Dr. Debi. Each session will build harmoniously upon the previous ones, so you’ll develop a complete holistic understanding of the practices, tools, and principles you’ll need to move beyond betrayal and into the empowered person you’re called to be.
Module 1: Understanding Betrayal & Shattered Trust — An Overview (April 13)
Betrayal has an impact on your body, mind, and heart. Blindsided by the person or people you trusted the most, it’s natural to grasp at whatever or whomever you think might ease your pain. Or, conversely, you do nothing and hope that time will repair the wound.
Without correctly healing from this unique type of trauma, you risk remaining sad, stuck, or sick. Betrayal jolts your sense of confidence, belonging, and worthiness. It kicks up feelings of rejection and abandonment.
Because betrayal affects you on every level, it needs to be healed on every level. A proven and predictable roadmap exists for fully healing from betrayal, and you’ll step onto it this session.
In this module, you’ll:
Module 2: Three Groundbreaking Discoveries That Change What We Know About Betrayal (April 20)
Dr. Debi will walk you through how the game-changers she uncovered in her doctoral study — Post Betrayal Transformation, Post Betrayal Syndrome, and the 5 Stages From Betrayal to Breakthrough — can become essential go-tos when you apply them to your situation. Comfortingly, her work confirms the predictability of healing; the full physical, mental, and emotional impact of betrayal; and how betrayal is a different type of trauma that requires a different approach to healing.
Through these respective lenses, you’ll explore how an unhealed betrayal may be affecting your health, work, and relationships — and what to do about it.
In this module, you’ll:
Module 3: Stage One — Reprioritizing Your Needs: Emotional & Spiritual Over Physical & Mental (April 27)
Imagine the four legs of a table: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. It’s common to lean heavily on the physical and mental legs and neglect the emotional and spiritual ones. Doing so makes you really good at thinking and doing (using your mind) and not so good at prioritizing feeling and being (tuning in to your heart).
With only two legs strengthened, it’s easy to see how the table topples, which can very much happen if you’ve experienced a betrayal. Balancing the four brings stability.
In this module, you’ll:
Module 4: Stage Two — Breakdown of the Body, Mind & Worldview (May 4)
On “D-Day,” or Discovery Day, you learn the news that stands to forever change life as you’ve known it. The betrayal completely shocks your body, mind, and heart. Physically, the shock ignites your stress response. Mentally, you can’t wrap your mind around what just happened. Your worldview craters. This is the stage where you’re scared, frantic, lost, confused, and desperate to feel better.
It’s time to move on from D-Day. Today’s class will focus on crafting a self-care plan that soothes and supports you while setting you up for lasting healing.
In this module, you’ll:
Module 5: Stage Three — Survival Instincts Emerge (May 11)
In the aftermath of betrayal, you’re spinning with questions: How will I survive this? Where do I go? Who can I trust? In Stage Three, you figure out some of the answers and, in the process, feel so much better.
Which is why Stage Three can be the hardest to leave. Survival feels so much better than the shock and trauma from which you just emerged, causing you to think, “Whew, I’m OK!”
The problem is, you’re unaware that Stages Four and Five are available to you, so you resign yourself to thinking, “This is as good as it’s going to get; I’d better get used to it.” A few things happen when that’s your belief:
You get used to all kinds of small self-benefits from being in that space: You get to be right. You have someone to blame. Nice.
Next, because you’re feeling less-than, unworthy, undeserving, and unlovable, your energy attracts the same. The mind wants to be proven right, so if those are your beliefs, your mind will find evidence by way of confirmation. If you weren’t already stuck enough in Stage Three, this keeps you glued there.
You’re not happy in this stage, and don’t know how to make the pain go away, so you look for ways to numb, avoid, and distract yourself from the feelings — be it with food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy, people-pleasing, or perfectionism. Diving into these “methods of mass distraction” may keep the feelings at bay, but they do nothing to actually move you through your discomfort; you’re simply trying to outrun it.
In this module, you’ll:
Module 6: Stage Four — Finding & Adjusting to a New Normal (May 18)
This week, you’ll examine the stage wherein you recognize, accept, and acknowledge that your old normal no longer exists.
You’ll explore how while you can’t undo the betrayal, you can control what you do with it.
You’ll receive help creating a new space that’s worthy and deserving of the new version of you that’s now emerging.
In this module, you’ll:
Module 7: Stage Five — Healing, Rebirth & a New Worldview (May 25)
Here, the body starts to heal. You’re prioritizing yourself and your self-care. Your mind begins to heal as well. You’re making new rules and boundaries based on what you see so clearly now.
By this stage, you’ve also formed a new worldview as you look back on all you’ve been through and the road you’ve traveled. You see just how far you’ve come. You’re choosing to heal. Doesn’t it feel great?
In this module, you’ll:
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